Another “Poster
Child” for Educating Our Kids - Risks of Teen Pregnancy?
One of my personal parenting
beliefs is that my husband I are open and talk to our children often about all
life's issues - including sex. We
started early with age appropriate conversations and have always left the
"door open" so our kids would feel comfortable enough to ask us what
they wanted. Young people have lots of questions about sex, love, and
relationships. And they often say that the source they’d most like to go for
answers is their parents. My advice? Gonna give it any way: Start begin when they are young, you the
conversation, and make sure that it is honest, open, and respectful. If you
can’t think of how to start the discussion consider using situations shown on
TV or in the movies as conversation starters.
Okay
- Have to admit I just can't stand Britney Spears. I think it's sad many of us know more about her than about the candidates running for President or a multitude of other important things in this world. Honestly have no idea how so many people can
idolize her and pray she uses her money to hire the best nannies possible to
raise her children or what their adolescent and adulthood years will be like is
a very sad thought to me. But getting
back to that "educational opportunity" from TV - seems like Britney's little sister just made that possible for us all. It is so regrettable that we have yet another
glorification of a destructive decision that we can talk to our kids about.
Tonight
after my daughter's soccer game, the conversation among the group (mother's and
daughters) was directed at the fact that Britney's 16 year old sister Jamie Lynn was 12 weeks pregnant. We don't
watch Zoey 101 but my daughter knew the news already (shows what a sheltered
"Hollywood
" life I lead). She said
she was in shock - she enjoyed the "good girl" / wholesome
personality that Jamie Lynn projected. She wouldn't pay the hefty price for a Hannah Montana ticket but does
appreciate and idolizes the way that Miley lives her life among the otherwise
"craziness" that goes on with the young celebrities today - drinking,
drugs, obnoxious behavior, sex…. Time and time again young fans and their
parents have made it clear they prefer their teen idols to be chaste. I guess that is why I try to be the best
parent and aunt that I can be, so my little ones look up to me rather than to
celebrities.
Of
course, I wish the best to her for her health and the wellbeing of the
baby. That being said…I don't even know
where to start. What sort of role models
did she have? Parents who allowed her to
live with her 19 year old boyfriend - didn't they know that sex caused
pregnancy? Then there's a mother, who has written a book on
"parenting" (if ever released now that it's on hold should be
entitled "What Not To Do As A Parent". A father who "sold" his daughter's
story to a magazine for profit. An
unfit, immature, spoiled older sister who can't parent. She's already starting out "behind the
eight ball".
Unfortunately,
on December 5, 2007, the National
Center
for Health
Statistics released preliminary 2006 birth data, and highlighted the fact that
for the first time in 15 years, the teen birth rate has increased. The
rate rose from 40.5 births per 1,000 females aged 15-19 in 2005 to 41.9 births
per 1,000 in 2006--a 3 percent increase. These girls deserve to live and grow up before being tied down to a
family and children. It was stressful
for me in my late 20's and early 30's when my kids were first born. I
considered myself mature at 16 but parental material? NO
WAY
!
How
to prevent teen pregnancy:
1.
Discourage early, frequent and steady dating
2. Take a strong stand against your
daughter dating a boy significantly older than she is. And don’t allow your son
to develop an intense relationship
with a girl much younger than he is.
3. Know your Children's friends and their families
4. Supervise and monitor your
children and adolescents.
5. Be an "ask able" parent with a point of view / opinion
6. Help your teenagers to have
options for the future that are more attractive than early pregnancy and
parenthood.
7. Talk about the differences in age. Spears is 16 and her
boyfriend is 19 years old. While an age difference of three years means little
in an adult relationship, age differences of even two or three years can be
significant in teen relationships. Teens who are in relationships with partners
three or more years older are far more likely to report that sex was unwanted,
are far less likely to use contraception, and far more likely to get pregnant
than those teens who are in relationships with someone their age or slightly
older.
8. Remind
your kids about the consequences of choosing to have sex. They are real and they happen "even the
first time". There is no 100% guarantee
against pregnancy than abstinence. And
not only pregnancy but what about AIDS and other deadly STDs? That Spears was shocked that she was pregnant
suggests that she wasn’t ready to have sex. Zoey 101 needs sex education 101
What we've talked about at home?:
My daughter is 13, and although she does not
have access to the wealth and privilege of Miss Spears, she has been educated enough
to understand the ramifications of sex. Although an uncomfortable subject for
both of us, as her parent it is my responsibility to ensure that if and when
she is having sex, she is always practicing safe sex. This story will reiterate
to my daughter that anyone can
get pregnant without the proper precautions.
When my son and I
have conversations about sex and responsibility, I remind him constantly: What
would he prefer for himself growing up? Would he rather not have a Dad in the
house? Would he like to be shuffled back and forth between homes? Would he like
to have a child in the world that he wouldn't get to visit? I also know that
it's important to make the best of your life and cards you are dealt. Be
grateful for all you have, but when you have choices that will affect another
person's life, then you better be thinking of the consequences. My 9-year-old
says it best. Girlfriends mean kissing, which leads to sex, and sex makes
babies, so wait to be picky and make a nest before you make the babies. I guess
all my talking is sinking in.
My final question would be about the liability
to the father. In Louisiana
, where Spears lives, it is a
misdemeanor for someone age 17 to 19 to have consensual sex with someone age 15
to 17 if the difference between their ages is more than two years. He could be
sentenced for up to 10 years. Although there are no current talks of
criminal prosecution in this case, did
she think about how her actions might affect him? In addition, it brings up the disparity of how
these laws are enforced in each state. Critics
of the nation's statutory rape laws say that laws that are ignored in some
cases can be used to put other teens in prison and land them on sex-offender
registries. The current laws leave too much to prosecutorial discretion, and
you all know by now my opinions on Prosecutorial
Discretion!
Again, I think it's distressing that it takes
another bad celebrity choice to bring a subject like teen-aged pregnancy back
into the lime light but if it will help other girls avoid this mistake - we
might as well talk about it. I hope you
keep your kids educated and SAFE.
Your opinions on all of this? What do you say to
your children? If you don't discuss sex at home, whose responsibility is it to
teach your children? What about the 19 year old’s responsibility in all of
this? Should he be put through the legal system as stated in the laws of Louisiana
?
