A Lighter Side of Crime Today:
Always Amusing.....
-----The Idiot Report........
Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today,
this woman called in very upset because she caught
her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
reassured her that the ants are not harmful and
there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter
into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the
airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of
the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of
the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for
a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard
helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that
the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint
might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your
muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting
to give his note to the teller, he began to worry
that someone had seen him write the note and might
call the police before he reached the teller's
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a
few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light
in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have
to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man
said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes
later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail
a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph
of $40. Several days later, he received a letter
from the police that contained another picture, this
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his
$40.
Wise guy........ but you still get a sign
____________________________ ______________________________ ________
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a
shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash
drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier
to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are
over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk
still refused to give it to him because she didn't
believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to
the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that
the man was in fact over
21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
"Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 20056
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder
block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder
block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It
seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on
videotape.
Yep, Here's your sign
(Please note that all of the above people are
allowed to vote)
Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today,
this woman called in very upset because she caught
her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
reassured her that the ants are not harmful and
there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter
into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the
airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of
the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of
the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for
a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard
helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that
the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint
might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your
muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting
to give his note to the teller, he began to worry
that someone had seen him write the note and might
call the police before he reached the teller's
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a
few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light
in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have
to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man
said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes
later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail
a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph
of $40. Several days later, he received a letter
from the police that contained another picture, this
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his
$40.
Wise guy........ but you still get a sign
____________________________ ______________________________ ________
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a
shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash
drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier
to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are
over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk
still refused to give it to him because she didn't
believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to
the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that
the man was in fact over
21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
"Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 20056
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder
block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder
block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It
seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on
videotape.
Yep, Here's your sign
(Please note that all of the above people are
allowed to vote)
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